Saturday night, Jeff and I did something we have never done before. We packed for the hospital.
This being my third pregnancy, you would think we have done this at least once. But you’d be wrong!
When we were pregnant with Reeves, it was on our list for the very next day (which ended up being his birthday!). I was 34 1/2 weeks pregnant, and thought we still had time to get that done when my water broke as we were walking out the door for our maternity photos.
With Madison we packed a few things, but it was in the rush of getting out the door to the hospital to find out what was going on with her. I was 34 weeks pregnant. I had delayed the packing during her pregnancy because I was terrified of going into labor early with her as I did with Reeves, and in my mind thought if I packed that would somehow cause my water to break and we’d be off to deliver her prematurely as well.
Saturday night, we packed. On purpose. We picked out tiny, warm clothes that look insanely small compared to how big Reeves has grown. We carefully chose soft blankets.
It felt weird, ya’ll. It felt good. I think most of all it felt “real” for probably the first time. Pregnancy after loss is scary and packing to deliver this little guy is too. You are never really sure you are going to “get” to this point. It doesn’t mean I won’t be anxious for the next 11 weeks. It does mean that we are one step closer to meeting Barrett and this time, we will have a bag ready to take with us when we go!